guilty I come to you
      on my belly again
      crawl before you
      struggling to repent
      saying, “I’m sorry”
      but taking it back
      because I don’t
      mean it

how does my heart
       get so hard before you
       that I wouldn’t care
       How can I make
       another
             my god?

Do I trust you enough
       to give over to you
       all my life and heart?
       You built it
              guarded it
              died for it
              died for me…
       You hold me in the palm
           of your hand
       and I try to scramble
       out between your fingers
       freefalling to a chasm
       you never let me reach

Pick me up
       hold me Jesus
       comfort me to you
       cradle me
       to your heart

Love me, God
       though I am weak
       I want to know you
       seek your face
       more than all others

guilty I come to you
       crawling once again
       on the palm of your hand
       belly down face to the ground
       I am sorry, God
       so sorry!
       … and this time i mean it
       it pours from my heart
       I cannot live without you
             do not want to
             I miss you
             tremble for you
             weep within my soul
             as I break before you
             unable to heal myself
             unable to comfort myself
             unable to come to you

So I lay before you
             guilty
       cradled in the palm of nail-scarred hands.

Angels Weep
(Baptism)

Angels weep in heaven today
A child’s soul is taken
And committed without her knowledge
Into a relationship she may never seek
Thinking the work is done

Beyond Description

I search for words to describe you
But they do not come
I force them out but they mock me
Turning you into something you are not

you lay beyond definition
If one remains objective.
How do I wrap you in a weave of words
Without revealing my heart?

Already you have become a part of me.

A song rises in me
a tune I do not know
a song that is not familiar
a melody of notes in
harmony yet dissonant
in a pleasing way
A song of confusion
and uncertainty
     and excitement
  of the vaguely known

Church Lights

Yellow on white
Reflecting light and
Shadows cast
Upon the past
Made new.

“A” is for Apathy

You sit there
Mocking me
For how I let you
Cut me down
How I gave myself
Over to your
Betrayal
You sit there
Mocking me
By how little you know
How little you care
For what we had.
You don’t know
How much you mean
to me
The times I told you
You never listened
Never believed
Never accepted
And now our friendship
Dies
Because you don’t know
Because you refuse to know.
And because you don’t care.